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D is for...

ORM seems to be having some communication issues, and our cycle has been cancelled due to us receiving contradicting information from one person to the next. D is for dropping the ball.

Chad and I have sent a letter to ORM stating there are several issues that need to be addressed and corrected before we are willing to move forward.

Aside from those issues, I really just need a break, both physically and emotionally, from all of this. The rest of this year will be IVF-stress free (if only it could be etsy-stress free as well), and we will start over in January.

I may or may not keep up with posting.

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S is for...

Yesterday was Mother's Day here in the US.
It was hard. Shitty even. S is for shitty. 
You'll get the pun in a few.
Also, this post is not censored for profanity. I let it fly freely.

It started off like any other family gathering day.
Well, after I could rally myself to get out of bed. I'd much prefer to just lay there with Tallie.
Wake up, eat breakfast, down some coffee, start (or finish) whatever dish I was tasked with taking.
This year was dessert - cupcakes for everyone!

...Then I wished a group of fellow IVF'ers (most with newborns or babies on the way) Happy Mother's Day. Of all the people I talked to, these were the people I least expected an insensitive comment from. I thought wrong. Fuck her. I muted the chat.

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W is for...

Today I had my first ultrasound in almost a year.
Well, except for the emergency room visit.
W is for Wanda. Everyone's favorite friend.



Dr. B was running a little late. Darn those other women and their eggs. I remember my Nurse Coordinator telling me that ovaries don't know what day it is (about working holidays). Apparently they don't know what time it is either...
So I waited. Half naked. Covered by an over-sized paper napkin. Just me and the ultrasound machine. Wanda. Should I play with her? Roll the giant track ball around a bit?  Would they know? I mean, it's not like they can have cameras in there, right?
I grabbed my phone. I checked Etsy. I messaged my transfer groups and talked about the horrors of cervical clamping that may be in my near future. I waited.  I was bombarded with photos of babies.  I love babies.  I'm still waiting.
I always feel so awkward waiting there. Trying to decide if I should let my feet dangle, or put them in the stirrups. One dow…

NIAW 2019!

It's National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) again and this year's theme is #infertilityuncovered#NIAW19
So, let’s get uncomfortable.
Let's talk about the #1in8 couples who are diagnosed with infertility.
Last year I focused on the facts, this year I’m focusing on me.
No sugar-coating here, so buckle up.

In case you missed it, or need a refresher here's part 1:
My first facebook post about our struggle

This week also means it has now been over *4.5 YEARS* since Chad and I started trying to start a family. To some people, that may seem ridiculously long, but to others, that's just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve met people who have waited TEN YEARS before having a successful pregnancy (this is the part where you pray it doesn’t take that long for us).
Don’t pray? That’s fine. Don’t agree with our journey, that’s cool too. We have a great support system, with or without you…but the more, the merrier.

A lot has happened since we said “I do” in 2014.
Death. Cancer. Buy…